Several weeks ago I heard about Serena William’s temper tantrum during the 2009 US Open semi-finals. Her outbursts didn’t necessarily cost her the game, as it’s pretty evident that she was already losing anyway, but they surely didn’t help her situation. If anything, they set her up for a quicker exit from the court. But worse than that, her behavior leaves people to wonder if her former victories do indeed deem her a champion and a winner, or if they are merely symbolic of her ability and say nothing of her character.
I do understand that the stress one must endure when playing the professional circuit of any competitive sport must be extremely difficult to manage, especially when it comes down to a crucial point of play. However, being in the public eye, and quite likely a role model for many youngsters, wouldn’t that be incentive enough to do whatever it takes to demonstrate “good sportsmanship” behaviors?
Worse still, is when you go to one of your kid’s sports matches and you see either their coach, or the opposing team’s coach, throwing their arms and fists about and yelling out all kinds of obscenities because they didn’t agree with the referee’s call. What kind of example is that for our kids? I witnessed such a scenario at one of my daughter’s recent volleyball matches; the coach of the opposing team was yellow-carded ( given a warning) for kicking the volleyball across the court in anger. He continued to pout and stamp his feet for the remainder of the game, his actions almost resembling the kind of temper tantrums my youngest daughter used to throw when she was two or three years old.
That kind of behavior is not only childish and embarrassing, but if demonstrated frequently, could potentially teach young kids who are directly exposed to it that losing is never acceptable, and that losing only occurs through the fault of others. I would hate for my children to always blame other people or circumstances for the losses they will inevitably experience, and if a hurtful but loving reality check is required in order for them to see the truth about their performance, then so be it. The thing is, a reality check can be followed by praise and a motivational pep talk that will hopefully reignite their desire to get out there and try again, but allowing our kids to dismiss any ownership of responsibility when it comes to losing, is a sure way to minimize the type of positive attitude that allows them to learn and grow from their mistakes.
Furthermore, a graceful attitude towards losing is far more attractive and admirable than one that reeks of rudeness and arrogance. I would much rather my children keep their dignity and self-respect, than let them be lost to an over-sized ego that only rewards winning and is ultimately self-destructive.